


I Think That You're a Good Person...Except for When You're Being a Complete Ass

by Bos05



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional, F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-09 18:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17412167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bos05/pseuds/Bos05
Summary: With the prison reveal, I took a different take and viewed Magna as cold, starting out, and feeling very undeserving from all of the bad things that she had done. I also viewed Magna and Yumiko's relationship as a slow burn—Yumiko having to peel away layer by layer before Magna would start to open up to her as well as the rest of the group.This is the peeling away of the first layer. This takes place the day of rescuing Luke.





	I Think That You're a Good Person...Except for When You're Being a Complete Ass

"You know you can, right?" Yumiko's feet moved slowly forward. She found herself being drawn to making yet another attempt at small talk with her once rescuer. Yumiko swallowed thickly, observing Magna as she sat: back stiff against a tree; knife in hand; guarded eyes cautiously scanning the parameter.

"I can what?" The questionable form of greeting left Magna un-phased, and Yumiko quietly chuckled at the seriousness _—_ noting as her guarded eyes continued to survey their immediate surroundings. It was getting dark.

"You can join them. Go over there.  _They_   _don't_ _bite,_ " Yumiko's feet stopped beside her, garnering attention. Yumiko sensed as Magna’s eyes looked up and fixed upon her in judgment.

 _"Shit_. That, uh, that was a bad joke," Yumiko scrunched her face in self-deprecation, running her hand though gritty locks of hair. She shook her head. 

"Well, acceptance _is_ the first step."

"Ha ha, _real_ _funny_ ," Yumiko lowered to sit down on the ground next to her, still shaking her head.

"No, not really."

"Yeah, I actually agree with you on that," Yumiko deadpanned as her fingers tore at pieces of grass at the short responses and overall lack thereof. 

Yumiko could feel the heat on her face and could hear the pops and crackles from their small lit fire. She could hear the sounds of light laughter as Connie and Kelly attempted to teach their newest rescuee sign language 101; Yumiko's lips pushed upward at Luke's eager display to learn.

"Really, you should go over there. Luke even has a bottle of bourbon that was stored in one of his music cases. He-"

"Seeing as to how somebody should be alert and keep watch while everyone else _lets_ _loose.”_

Yumiko paused at the underlying tone, carefully contemplating. "If that's the case, then I can take watch for a while if you want," she turned her head, eyeing her un-chatty conversation partner.

"No, it's okay. I'm fine right here."

Yumiko was met with iron defenses. She watched as the brunette redirected her gaze, her eyes staring intently at the bright flickers of flame; the fire's warm shadows moving across her stoic face in mesmerizing patterns. Yumiko bit her lip, deciding to put forth one last ditch effort.

"Are you afraid you'll have fun?"

" _Fun_? No. I guess you could say I'm just not a _social_ _butterfly_ like you."

Yumiko fully anticipated the sarcastic deflection. What she didn't anticipate was the chink in the iron mask. Yumiko observed the small bobble in Magna's throat; caught as her lips pulled downward into a microscopic frown. Magna could feel a pair of eyes trained upon her.

"What?" She turned her head. 

"You are, aren't you?" Yumiko’s brow furrowed in question.

" _What_?"

"Afraid”

"Of going over **there**?" A preposterous tone colored Magna’s words—was etched across her face.

"No”

" **Of** **what** , **then**?"

Yumiko cleared her throat, daring to continue in their quickly heated engagement.

"Well, having traveled with you for a while now. And, seeing as to how you're always— _always—_ on guard; never one to disclose any _real_ information about yourself—past, present, or hopes of future. I'd guess. Tell me if I'm wrong. _No_ , _I_ _know_ _you_ _will_ , _actually._  But, you’re afraid to open up; let people in;  _to_ _feel_."

"I feel annoyed right now," Magna quickly turned her gaze back towards the fire. Yumiko could see the outline of her tightly clenched jaw; surveyed as her hand gripped onto the handle of her most trusted knife.

"It's not what I meant, and you know it," Yumiko pressed carefully. "Magna, you are allowed to experience a win; to enjoy just _a_ _little_ _semblance_ of happiness since they're few, far, and in between these days."

"Is that what that is?" Magna's hand moved and pointed in the direction of the others. "I thought that was a-"

" _MAGNA,"_ Yumiko's surprisingly firm tone managed to stop the brunette right in her tracks. Yumiko watched as her younger comrade chewed heavily on her bottom lip, her brow furrowed deep in thought.

" _What_   _if_ _I_   _don't_ _deserve_ _it_?" Yumiko was caught off guard by the unintended confession, barely registering the soft spoken words over the crackles of the fire. She shook her head, unmistakably taken back by Magna’s sheer, open honesty and by the haunted look in usually steeled eyes.

"I...I don't...I don’t know what you're talking about. Deserve? What are y-"

" _Look_ , Yumiko. Like you said, we’ve been traveling together for a while now, but I really- _really_ don't know anything about you. You don't know me.  _Fuck_ , you don't know all the _bad_ _things_   _that_   _I've_ _done_ ," Magna's voice dropped into a pained whisper, her jaw jutting and her eyes cut low to the ground in shame. Yumiko eyed as the brunette rubbed heavily at her gloved hand. 

"Magna, I'm pretty sure we've _all_ had to do our share of things we're not proud of. That's _life—_ the world we live in; we do what we have to do to survive. But, I don't think it’s worth torturing yourself over day in and day out. If you cut yourself off from feeling _anything,_ then what really separates us from them?" Yumiko sensed that her words fell on deft ears, seeing as Magna shook her head _,_ her lips turned downward into a deep frown.

"What if I said 'm not a  _good_ person— ** _was_** a good person?" Magna winced at the whispered admission—at the heavy weight at her chest from all of her former trespasses; from all of the many marks in her ledger.

Yumiko’s brow furrowed at the weighted confession. She licked her lips.

"Look, you're right. I don't know you. I'm trying to get to _though_ , but what I do know is this: you risked your life today for a complete stranger. You didn't have to for him, for Connie and Kelly, or for me—however long ago that was—that of which I'm grateful," Yumiko scooted closer. "But, the way I see it: it doesn't matter _who_ you were before the world went to shit; what things you did or didn't do. What _fucking_ _difference_ does it make? All that matters is what you choose to do in the present—in the here and now; who you want to be in the moments you have left—however long or short they may be."

Magna worked hard to bite back a self deprecating laugh. While she was listening to what Yumiko was saying, she knew that it really didn't apply _—_ at leastnot to her. Magna knew that only good people— _good_ _people_ —truly deserved happiness. And, well, she wasn't one of them. And, so, regardless— _regardless_ —of all of the good things that she would try and do, she knew that it would never be enough for redemption—for happiness. There would always be a penance to pay.

 _Fuck_ _this_. Magna struggled to choke down the rising lump in her throat, opting to forgo any more of their fucking conversation.

"Wow, that was _deep_. Did you get that from a fortune cookie?" Magna decided that deflecting was ultimately better than dealing—than being reminded of all of her many-many failures. It was better than feeling. Her plan backfired though—cracked and crumbled to ash—by just a single, unmistakable look.

 _Shit_ , Magna's chest twinged unexpectedly with guilt as her brown eyes looked up to meet brown eyes. Why did she have to- Maybe she shouldn't have-

The brunette shook her head, her stomach twisting.

"'m sorry. You we're just  _trying_ to be nice, and I-"

"It’s okay,” Yumiko replied softly, trying to dispel the situation the best she could. Though seriously taken aback by Magna’s abrupt change, she had sensed a real, genuine remorse—thinking there may actually be hope for her yet.

“You don't get this far into the apocalypse with having thin skin,  _regardless_ _of_ _what_ _color_ _it_ _may_ _be_." Yumiko’s remark was effective as Magna stopped shaking her head. “That was another bad joke.”

"Yeah”

...

...

The two women sat still in awkward silence, both avoiding looking at the other and both staring at the glowing embers of fire. Yumiko bit her lip, though still feeling a pull.

"And I'm Japanese, by the way—not Chinese. But, I moved to England with my family when I was younger." Yumiko didn't know _why_ she was revealing all of this. It was probably because of the same reason why she had attempted time and again to talk to Magna in the first place. Yumiko saw the brunette turn her head, this time in genuine interest.

"And, how did you end up here? I mean...You know what I mean."

Yumiko paused at the question, feeling her lips curl up into a sad smile.

"I studied abroad; fell in love; and, well, that's enough on that  _for_ _now_ ," Magna watched as Yumiko’s lips slowly morphed into a frown, the fire's shadows dancing across her melancholic features; the pull of a too painful memory evident in her soft brown eyes.

"Fair enough."

"Yeah," Yumiko breathlessly agreed, moving to stand from her seated position. She was just about to go and join the others but she stopped, instead looking to the brunette.

"And, for what it’s worth, Magna, I think that you're a good person...Except for when you're being a complete ass."

Magna looked up at Yumiko in the moment, raising an eyebrow at the open remark—at the hint of a smirk written across her face.

"What? Somebody's gotta keep you grounded."

"Maybe," Magna acknowledged quietly, her own lips pushing upward into a small smile. Yumiko swallowed at the sight, unable to refrain.

"You know, it looks good on you."

Magna's head tilted in curiosity. "What?"

"A smile; you should do it more often," Yumiko nodded her head in subtle gesture, turning to walk back towards Connie, Kelly, and Luke. Magna watched intently as Yumiko signed to the others in greeting and took a glass bottle away from Luke's hand, slowly taking a drink. Magna’s lips ghosted upward at the sight.


End file.
